Is It Shame On You Or Shame On Me?

The first person I befriended in San Diego was a colleague. She was a fellow smoker like myself so we met at cigarette breaks. We never hung out outside of work, but we shared a lot. She gave me strength when I needed it with my husband's deployment, and I gave her support when things got rough for her. On more than one occasion she had financial woes and I threw packs of cigarettes her way, $40 or $20 her way (probably about $200 total); whatever I could afford to give. 

Suddenly she left work. Some of my other colleagues were her 'friends' and came to me, "Have you heard from her? She's not answering my calls or texts!" No, and I sent her a text myself letting her know I was thinking of her & hoped all was well, but she was having some rough family & financial problems; maybe she left to live with her sister.

Then Friday, 30 minutes before the day's end, another colleague approaches me and asks the same "have you heard from her?" question. I shrugged and gave the same response; No, but I hope all is well with her. We start chatting about the missing co-workers problems and I mention, "I really wonder what's going on with her paychecks. Old debts?" My other colleague laughs: "No, she's a gambler! I used to go gambling with her until I saw just how bad she was. She's stiffed a ton of people here of a lot of money!" Hm.

I'm living paycheck to paycheck still. I have a little extra cash I am trying to put away into savings & pay off credit cards, but I'm not rich. She knew this well. I whined to her about my husband's spending when he was at ports. I went over all our debts with her to explain why I was so upset with my husband. She made herself out to be worse. She played me.

So now I have to ask myself: when do I stop giving humanity the benefit of the doubt? When do I stop believing all people are good so I can stop getting played? 

Or should I continue to give the benefit of the doubt, and let manipulators walk over me?

I miss my husband.