I have the great honor of knowing a great man who recently lost his wife to cancer. His fierce love for her has always been evident, and to know he's missing her- yet carrying on so bravely- just breaks my heart. I try to do what I can to send good vibes his way. I have never met his wife, but I have read her books. You see, she is somewhat famed author Drusialla Campbell. She gained some additional fame through her blogging of her experience with cancer. Don't read it in an emotional state unless you're seeking a good cry.
Today I keep thinking about Mr. and Mrs. Campbell. Naturally I'm thinking of how my life would be if that 30% of unfavorable odds is my father. I can't stand thinking about it for long, but it's on the brain.
I'm also wondering what is it going to take to get me to stop smoking. Seriously. What is it going to take? It's bad enough cancer has hit so close to me- those I respect, those I love. Do I need to be the person experiencing it before that point triggers in my brain to say "Yes, I'm done"? God, I hope not. Yet with every cigarette I light today, I keep thinking about my dad. I keep thinking of the incredible Drusilla Campbell.
I just read this and the previous blog and I about want to cry. I am at work so I won't. You will quit smoking when you are ready. Should you quit now - of course, but for some reason you are not ready. Don't beat yourself up. This doesn't mean that you don't love and care about those who are and have battled cancer. When you are ready and have the willpower you will respect them even more by quitting. It is not an easy thing to do. Not much in life is easy but we have to do things at our own pace, leave the guilt out of it, you are a smart person and you know what you need to do. Do it when you can.
ReplyDeleteThank you for being easier on me than I am myself.
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