The Negative Side of Penny Pinching

When my marriage first began, I drilled into my husband the importance of saving money, how much I hated my broke childhood, and how determined I was to raise myself to a better standard of living. I taught him my mentalities on spending versus saving, wants versus needs, and why it's important to pay in cash instead of credit card.

Over the last few years, my husband and I have worked very hard to get out of debt and are seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. By the end of 2015, I should only have school loans to pay. At this time, he should be just working on his car loan & his own school debt, which - of course- I will help him with. We have reached a point where it's OK to splurge a little on our grocery trips, and dine out every now and then without feeling guilty- it is a beautiful place to be.

My earlier preaching seems to have done some damage, though. The last few nights my husband has had a fitful time sleeping. Last night I sat him down, determined to get to the heart of what was on his mind: Money. He's worried when he gets out of the military he won't be able to support us. He's afraid of having to resume to working 4 jobs to make ends meet (1 of the reasons he joined the military- to stop the madness). He's worried we'll end up digging ourselves into debt again. Of course, the stereotype of being the "man of the house", he wants to feel pride in also having a secure income to bring to our marriage- though he knows it's silly.

I think our talk got through to him at least a little bit. I told him the place we were in 2 years ago was not a healthy place, but we have truly done amazing work at correcting our debt problems. I assured him we had options now. I also urged him to review the economy himself; it's not what it was in 2008! Add to this, both of us have more skills than we had in 2008, myself soon to have a degree & all the education he's received from the Navy. We're playing with a new deck of cards, one we've stacked for better odds of winning than before.

But it still took him over an hour to fall asleep last night, and I cannot help but feel guilty for how my influence, how all my old fears have impacted him.