The Return

Tonight is Husband's return after a little under a 2 month outing. Normally a day of celebration, today is a day of trepidation. Hubby's military lifestyle has been wearing on him, and with this trip he finally cracked. His mental status took a dive, and he's constantly fighting panic attacks.

+ he's learned he may not be approved for leave for our trip home after all- too many people requested the same weeks before he did

+ they've announced probable overtime working for the next few months

Just no relief in sight for him.

For my part, I'm confident in a while, maybe as long as 1-2 years, this will be OK. What I'm very, very uncertain is how to get him to that point. 

I have a lot of mental pep-talks that work for me, like focusing on the fact that in a few years this will all be a memory. Like knowing that stressing over things I cannot control is a waste of energy. 

But what will work for him? 

I've given him some of the things I use on the phone when we last talked a few weeks ago, but I don't think it worked for his mental status. The meds they've got him on seem to be making it worse. 

All I want to do is get him happy again, but this seems like something really out of my hands. It's something he has to work out in his own head. No matter what I want, he has to be the one that reaches the conclusions that make sense for him to allow him to let go of the crazy shit and be more at peace. Still, I wish I could lead him there. 

This will be my learning time too: how to be patient, something I have a big failing on. 

Just reminds me again and again of the Woody Allen quite; You want to make God laugh? Tell him all about your life 'plans'.