I Don't Want To Be An Adult Anymore!

photo courtesy of deviant art member

As a kid, I would either eventually get my way, or I would forget what I wanted and move on. 

As an adult, it all keeps circling back, and it's making me crazy!

My wants versus my needs.

Questions over which decision is more important.

Too many decisions and unsettled roads.

Blech! That's it! I'm going back to the days where oreos and cartoons made the worst day into the best day ever.

Hm.. Ok, I still love oreos, so I guess I haven't changed that much.

Today's weighed out decision on my mind is what to do with tax returns now that we're officially filing soon. Yes, I'm agonizing about this now, and I don't even have the money yet. There's a reason for that, though.

I Want to put the money toward a trip home.

I Should put the money into an emergency savings.

All the savings blogs, books, sites tell you "Keep an Emergency savings of 6 months worth of bills". It used to be 3 months, but the recession's upped that. I'm a very fortunate position right now; I can afford to do that. I believe deep down that if I come to a point where I need that big of a savings, I'm going to be so angry at myself for not building it when I had the chance.

But how do you do that? How do you take your hard earned money and NOT treat yourself for all your hard work? How do you keep on working hard? Don't you need motivation to keep going? I know I do! and my Wants will get me motivated, my Needs will not.

My reasoning for debating with myself this point right now is because I can convince myself of things over time.

If someone walks up to you today and says "Give up all your vacation time to staying home, and commit to it right now!" you would look at them and tell them to get lost. 

I see a lot of people do that to themselves, though. "I'm going to quit eating fatty foods right now! That's it!" But deep down, you know your not. You haven't thought it through, decided what's really worth while, and you haven't committed to a life without fatty foods being the better. People generally learn to accept things gradually. 

This is the same situation. I'm going to think about this over and over again. I'm going to gradually come to terms with building up an emergency fund for 6 months. I think my desire to be financially stable and secure is stronger than my desire for fun and instant gratification. I hope, anyway.