You can't cope with life events & be in the military.

It's days like today that I have all the empathy in the world for my husband.

Several months ago his uncle passed away, one he was very close to. He was deployed at the time and they would not ship him home for it; it simply would have cost them too much to do so.

Meanwhile they've been pushing him to the brink with physical and mental work, lack of sleep, no time for meals, stress on top of stress, working weekends, 12 hour days, etc. It just doesn't end, and there's no appreciation for the hard work given. 

Now his grandma passed away. Not as much of a shock as his uncle, since she was 30 years older, but it's still a hard thing to cope with. This time he's been given time off, but only at their convenience. As of Monday, they had reported to him he could have Wed- Sun off to cope & go home if he wished. Now it's the weekend and Monday off, with a great possibility the weekend will be taken from him, too.

My husband has every symptom of combat stress. His appetite is erratic, he sleeps 85% of the time when he's home, he's losing desire to talk to those who were once closer to him back home (he feels he's in too low of spirits, and won't bring them down), he's losing interest in things he was once passionate about. He's losing the things that make him him.

A big part that adds to stress is the fact that regular life gets in the way. Stress of bills, worries over his family, guilt for not being able to do things with me; this all operates in his mind on top of the normal military stress. I don't know how others do it. Perhaps they don't have the added bills or family as we do, and maybe they don't give a crap about leaving their spouse alone for months on end. It must be it, because I cannot see how this can be managed any other way. A military life gives you a severe disconnect between your loved ones and actually enjoying life. They sever the part of you that makes you human, probably to better control you into following orders.

And for the hundredth time in my life, I am asking myself why anyone would volunteer for this. I am overjoyed that people do, just as I am overjoyed the garbage men do what they do, but I cannot understand how either are able to get through it.