Why Do I Rant/ Give Advice?

Last week, in speaking with my dad, he brought up a point about my giving advice: it can hurt people sometimes. I don't mean to sound like a know-it-all, or sound like what the other's choices are wrong. The choices aren't wrong. Those choices are what the person feels is best at the time. Part of it could be that person being ignorant or naive. I'm trying to offer an alternative solution to fix the naive or ignorant part. It doesn't mean I'm right either, though. It's just what I've found that works for me or what I've seen to work for others. 

I have a rare ability. I can learn from other people's mistakes. Most people have to go through the mistakes themselves, even if they've seen friends go through the same thing, to learn a life lesson. "Sure, it happened this way when Jane did it, but that's not going to happen to me." I believe if it happened to Jane, it'll probably happen to me, too. 

For example, I moved to San Diego in October 2011. I had a very good paying job back home. I left with complete confidence the skills and success from that job would land me an equally successful job in San Diego. Within the first month of job hunting I realized what I fool I had been. I had human resource people laughing at my naive attitude. It turned out administrative assistants were a dime a dozen, both with a degree and without. Not only were my skills comparable to many others, my methods for job hunting wouldn't work the way they did five years prior. The world around me had changed, and I had to change quickly with it or I was going to end up going back home.

I studied how to re-format my resume to fit specific job needs, I sought out temp. agencies for assistance, and I changed my confident, "I'm not taking a job for less than this much," to "I'll take any job and work my way up from the bottom again." I didn't give myself an off day. Weekdays and weekends were all spent applying to places and I refused to give up despite every no or lack of response received. It wasn't easy, but it was necessary. In four months I landed a great job.

In December my own mom lost her job.She's still struggling to find a new one. I offered her the tips that I had learned: change your resume, use your off time to continue to improve your skills, seek out temp. agencies (the temp. agency is how I acquired what is now a permanent job for me) and keep strong, don't give up. 

A week later, in a conversation with my dad I learned that my advice may have been good, but it wasn't welcome. She wasn't seeking advice, she was just seeking an ear to release her frustrations to. I didn't mean to make her feel bad. I was simply trying to open her eyes to some of the things I had to go through, hoping it would help change her luck. I feel bad she was hurt, but I don't regret what I said to her. She needed to wake up and realize what worked for her when she last got a job - 10 + years prior- would not work today. She still hasn't found a job, but she's finally working with temp. agencies who seem confident employment is around the corner for her. It's a step closer to her .

That's why I want to help others. Maybe someone's stuck in a rut and can't find the solution on their own, like my mom's job hunting methods. Finding out what they're doing is wrong isn't always nice to hear, but the results of offering a new perspective don't hurt.